Perfectly clear/sharp focus, perfect exposure, perfect composition, perfect lighting, authentic emotion, etc.  The list of requirements for taking an image is endless.  With each session I do, I strive to give my clients at least a few “perfect” images that capture them in the best way possible.   With each session I have, it gets a little easier to run through the list of required settings in my head quick enough to press the button and capture THE shot of the day.  I love the challenge, and love the final products even more!  I am so grateful to be able to meet so many amazing people and take beautiful pictures of them month in and month out.  There’s been something bothering me the past few months that I haven’t been able to articulate until yesterday.

I’m sick of trying to be perfect.  It’s unattainable.  It’s fake.  It’s a lie.  It’s not me.

I’m far from perfect and I’ll be the first to tell you!  I find joy and peace and happiness in the messiness of my life.  It’s where I can have honest conversations and find clarity and healing.  It’s where I’m closest to God.   I do my best to be transparent and real in my life as a wife, mom, daughter, friend, etc.  Yet as a photographer I’ve been trying to portray PERFECTION.   It’s been a daily struggle to present this fake portrayal of who I am and what my business is, and I’m tired of trying to convince everyone I’m the “perfect photographer”.

So who am I?  I’m still trying to figure that out!  I don’t dress how I should.  I speak when I “should” be silent.  I’m entering my 2nd year of doing Crossfit and as a result I finally feel like I’ve got the upper hand in my battle with eating disorders and depression.  I’m doing my best to be a great mom for my 2 girls.  I try my hardest to be a great wife to my husband.  I strive to have a consistent relationship with God.  I LOVE taking pictures, and love having the ability to show people how beautiful they are!  I’ve found my voice through photography.  It’s so difficult to articulate in words HOW I see you and the world around me, and it’s amazing to be able to just stop and look at an image and say – “See how beautiful you are?”

Yesterday I took the girls up to Upper Park to take some new portraits of them.  I wanted something whimsical, dreamy, and NOT PERFECT.  I needed to be able to see something on my walls that portrayed the girls as they are now.  I fell in love with the final products!

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Thank you for taking the time to read this post!  I’m hoping to make more visits here to showcase some more REAL LIFE pictures from my business and personal adventures!

January is all but over, but I’m just now settling down from the 2013 Holiday portrait rush!  I am in awe of what happened with my little photography business last year, and am so very grateful to everyone for their support and encouragement!  I didn’t make time to blog each and every session because I always found myself waiting for a time that everything would calm down – but it never happened!  God has been so faithful, with his blessings and with his lessons, I’ve learned so much this past year.  Instead of trying to blog each session individually (as much as I’d LOVE to), I decided to put together a collage and put 1 of my favorite images from each session.  I hope you enjoy perusing through last year’s best!

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This morning I got to spend some more time with Little Miss Brooklyn and her big brother for her 3-month session.  It’s so much fun to see all my newborn clients growing up with each session (check her out at just 3 weeks)!   I got to try out my newest backdrop (which I am considering calling it “Disco”).  What do you think?  Her dimples are sooooo cute!

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This weekend marks 12 years of marriage to the most amazing man I’ve ever known (and about 14 years together).  We got married 9/15/01, just a few short days following the 9/11 attacks in New York.  It was such a crazy week full of heartache for all the lives lost and affected, while trying to wrap up all the final details for the big day.  I was just 21 years old and eager to start the new phase in my life!   Looking back, the last 12 years have each had their own struggles and successes.  We have both changed and grown up to be so different from who we were back then.  Through focusing on our commitment to each other and keeping God as our center, we’ve been given the strength and grace to grow and change as a solid team going in the same direction.  There’s no doubt in my mind that Jeff is the man God had made just for me.  We go together just like peas and carrots.  🙂  I realize this isn’t one of the “milestone” anniversary years, but to me this feels like one.  We’ve overcome a lot this past 4 years and I feel we are at the threshold to a new season together, a really good one!  God is so great, and so faithful.  I am so excited to continue travelling on this road hand in hand with the love of my life and my very best friend.

I’ve been hearing this song a lot lately on my Pandora station, and think of Jeff every time (just switch the lyrics to be as though they’re sung about him)!  http://youtu.be/hN8WAPkDJw4

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